Our Breastfeeding Journey: The First 8 Months and Beyond

Dinner with a view overlooking Provence—we took our little one to France to meet our family in May.

When I was expecting our baby, it was made clear to me and my spouse by the nurses and doctors that breast milk is the best possible nutrition for a baby until they turn six months and start eating solid foods. We were also encouraged to continue breastfeeding until at least one year — and according to the World Health Organization, even up to two years.

With this knowledge, I was very determined to breastfeed. I also had the support of my mother, who breastfed me for a long time — around two years, to her recollection. Before this, flabbergasted with social media’s public breastfeeding debate, society had kept me in a good oblivion about the importance of breastfeeding for the child’s development and for the mother-baby bond. So, Finland’s opinion on this matter cleared out every mind block I had until then, and made me think of my baby’s health and wellbeing before anything else.

First Latch at Midnight

So, fast forward to our labour, our baby was born soon after midnight on an autumn night. She was placed on my chest for warmth — and she latched immediately. The nurses laughed and were amazed. We were off to a good start.

Newborns spend most of their wake time breastfeeding, as their stomachs are only the size of a small marble, and breasts produce only droplets in the beginning. I didn’t sleep more than a few hours during a 36-something-hour stretch, and our baby cried every time I detached her from me. We felt like she was still hungry and sleep wasn’t in sight for me, so we decided to ask the nurses for donated breast milk.

I hadn’t realized how helpful it would have been to bring my own breast pump — that way, I could’ve bottle-fed our baby with my own milk, since all the hospital’s pumps were in use at the time. After spending her whole first night at my breast, the nurses gave our baby a very tiny amount — perhaps 10 ml, if I remember correctly — of donated milk. She drank it in one go! The nurse said, “Yes, you were right. She was indeed just very hungry.” Our baby fell asleep almost immediately, and I got a record-breaking 2–3 hours of sleep. I’m so thankful that the hospital has this system of donated milk, and for the mothers who choose to donate. Out of curiosity, and at times out of necessity, I used an app called Huckleberry to count breastfeeding, and have marked down that on her first day of life our baby spent 8 hours on the breast. For the first few weeks breastfeeding did hurt, and I was soaking up on lanolin-based nipple cream. What brought great relief were these soothing pads the hospital gave me, and I would encourage anyone to try them! They’re soft, thin wound pads with a gentle silicone layer that protects sore nipples. They create a moist healing environment and are easy to remove before feeding without damaging the skin—and the removal doesn’t hurt at all.

I had always known that breastfeeding would hurt in the beginning, so I had prepared myself for that. I had an otherwise completely uncomplicated and happy pregnancy, followed by a by-the-book labor… until the final pushing stage. There were complications in the end, which left me weaker and in more pain than I had expected. That, paired with the intensity of new parenthood and the pain of breastfeeding, was quite something. I remember counting the hours until we could leave the hospital — even though it was a comfortable place — because I had this rural, primal urge to take our baby home. To our safe haven. To have my family close.

The Witching Hour & The Breaking Point

Our baby had a witching hour in the beginning, which lasted until she was about 2–3 months old. The poor one was crying so incredibly loud in the evenings, no matter what we did. We felt helpless and tried everything from a reflux pillow to probiotics, but the only thing that would most often work was a stroller ride out in the cool fresh air. Our baby was born late autumn, so it was extremely chilly and gloomy outside, as we live in Finland. The latest stroller ride my spouse ever took her on was at 2 a.m. Looking back, we are sure it was the witching hour and not colic. Also, milk supply naturally drops in the evening after peaking in the morning. We felt like she was hungrier in the evenings, but also very tired, so she got frustrated with the slower flow. For this reason, I often pumped in the morning so that we could bottle-feed her in the evening.

There was a moment when I was so exhausted and sleep-deprived while doing my best, that I seriously considered stopping breastfeeding. Our baby was three weeks old, and though I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, it just didn’t seem enough for her. One day, I timed it and realized I had spent around four hours breastfeeding—and we still had to give additional milk from a bottle to satiate her. Here are some of my thoughts as a first-time mom from that time 3 weeks postpartum:

”Our baby only really seems content after getting extra milk from a bottle, even though I spend so much time breastfeeding. Our little one feeds for just 5–10 minutes, then dozes off, only to wake up hungry again 15 minutes later. Sometimes we repeat this cycle for hours, and it leaves me feeling drained and discouraged. When we offer a bottle, our baby drinks steadily for ten minutes and is calm and satisfied afterward. It’s such a contrast, and honestly, it makes me wonder if I should just stop breastfeeding altogether. I want breastfeeding to work so bad, but I just can't make it work."

We addressed these concerns with a nurse, and I spoke openly about it. By this time my spouse had just returned to work, and he was devastated for me, knowing I was trying my best. Three weeks postpartum is such a sensitive and chaotic time, but what the nurse said next was a truly encouraging wake-up call. Her response was incredibly kind and reassuring: she said that based on my description, it sounded like my milk supply was good. Our baby might still be figuring out the right latch, which can feel different from bottle-feeding. The most important thing is that the baby gets enough nutrition and continues to gain weight—but feeding shouldn’t become an overwhelming source of stress for us as parents. She encouraged me to keep pumping if direct breastfeeding felt too difficult right now. She assured that giving breast milk from a bottle is still a wonderful way to nourish a baby and it provides all the protective antibodies that help build their immune system. And even if one uses some formula, that’s perfectly okay too—it won’t harm the baby.

The nurse also reminded me that breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I could keep offering the breast as long as it felt meaningful and manageable, even if our baby only got part of her milk that way. Sometimes babies suddenly figure out the latch and everything gets easier. A good nursing pillow can help make the experience more comfortable and relaxed, and it’s worth remembering that babies can sense our stress—so creating a calm feeding environment can really help. Ultimately, whether the baby feeds from the breast or a bottle, what matters most is that they’re growing well. Every parent wants breastfeeding to go smoothly, but sometimes it just takes time—or it looks different than we expected. The nurse reminded me that our own rhythm would come, even if it didn’t match the books. And I can always reach out again if I need support.

Trying hurt less than giving up.

After this, I was absolutely determined to continue breastfeeding. We tandem fed—both breast and bottle, using either my milk or ready-made baby formula—and our baby continued to take the bottle happily. She was gaining weight beautifully, but then at around 3 months, the maternity clinic became a bit concerned that bottle-feeding in the evenings might be making her even fussier and cry more. So, at 3 months we dropped the bottle-feeding completely and went over to fully breastfeeding. I cut it off cold turkey, now offering the breast more frequently to increase the supply… And guess what? It worked. It felt like a miracle and such a personal win. Regarding the crying, our little one grew out of it once we stopped bottle-feeding. We had tried a myriad of different bottles and stuck with the Rolls-Royce of them all—but even that hadn't helped.

And Then—It Worked

So, at three months, we stopped messing with the breast pumps, bottles, and formula—and from there on, it’s been a smoother ride. It’s so convenient, natural, healthy, and comforting for the baby. I’m so happy I didn’t stop breastfeeding when I first felt like giving up. Knowing myself, I knew that trying hurt less than quitting. But with that experience, I truly understand mothers who stop breastfeeding for similar reasons. I’m with you—the beginning is not easy at all.

About a month ago I did encounter a blocked milk duct as well though, due to a very ill-fitting nursing bra. Thankfully, it resolved in a few days. I recognized it from the pain and a hard area inside the breast. I asked my friend for advice and she gave me great tips—like massaging the blockage in a warm shower or sauna, and during breastfeeding toward the nipple. What also helps with swelling and pain are cold cabbage leaves straight from the fridge. Just make some cuts on the leaf or gently squeeze it, then place it inside your bra. The natural enzymes help reduce swelling.

Now at soon eight months, breastfeeding continues and our baby is already eating solid foods since six months old. Eating solids goes well, and she tries everything new with great curiosity.

My Tips for New Breastfeeding Parents

Not to forget, I do have plenty of tips to share as well. First one definitely is to eat and drink plenty. To have a good milk supply, you need enough of liquids and food. Warm soup is great as it provides both, and I’ll always remember how my sister-in-law brought us her homemade chicken broth when we returned home from the hospital. Second tip is a breastfeeding tea. It doesn’t do miracles but it definitely does support milk supply, and some warm tea is always comforting.

What comes to nursing pillows, I have both a firm moon-shaped one and a soft regular pillow. I ended up using the soft rectangular one more. We only used pillows for the first few months though, when the baby was small. Now we just go without. I also bought a tiny "arm pillow"—a pillow you wrap around your arm so the baby’s head rests on something soft during feeds. And as I mentioned, those silicone wound pads from the pharmacy were a real blessing.

I never set myself a timeline for how long I’d continue to breastfeed—I’ll just go with the flow. I’m aware that it’s advised for a minimum of one year, and at least until two years according to the World Health Organization. We’ll follow our own rhythm and see where it takes us. I wanted to share our story because maybe you are in the early days, wondering if you’re doing it right. If you’re doing enough. Whether it’s one week or one year, your story is valid, and you are doing beautifully.